Overview

We need to think about the influences and pressures on the birth father as well as on the pregnant woman. In the case of an unintended pregnancy, your first encounter with an expectant father may find him in a state of crisis. He may be experiencing feelings of uncertainty, doubt, shame, isolation, confusion, and grief. He may appear withdrawn, or defensive, or angry, or passive, or flippant, or sad, or ambivalent, or stoic... or any combination of these and other emotions and attitudes. Think about the messages that males are given about how they should react and handle different situations, how they should or shouldn’t express their emotions, what their role as a man or father ought to be, and whether it is ok to ask for help. Whatever his presentation, remember that he is a unique human being, not a stereotype or the sum of his behaviors. Birth fathers may need someone to reach out and encourage their participation.

In segment five, Making Room for Fathers, we see the ways in which helping professionals discuss ways to engage birth fathers.

In their encounters with birth fathers, healthcare professionals and social workers can focus on the birth father’s strengths. When possible, it is important to make an active effort to involve the birth father in the process. Consider accommodating working birth fathers by offering services at their convenience. or meeting birth fathers on their own turf.

Supports are just as important for birth fathers as it is for birth mothers. Offer or connect birth fathers to support groups and educational opportunities and provide opportunities for men to help other men.