Overview

The history of adoption practice is steeped in themes of secrecy, which has long-lasting implications for those involved in the adoption process.  Secrecy was so much a part of adoption that even decades later many myths remain that can deter expectant parents from considering option as an option.

In part of the video, The Spirit of Open Adoption you will hear from birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees and professionals as they describe the secrecy that they experienced as part of the adoption process, and the impact secrecy had on them over time.

You heard birth parents and professionals talk about the measures that were taken to prevent others from learning about a woman’s teenage pregnancy or pregnancy outside of marriage (use of maternity homes far distances away from the woman’s community, making up a “cover story”, and helping the woman return to home after the baby was delivered never to talk or think about it again). 

▶       What were your reactions to hearing about how secrecy came to be accepted as the norm in adoption practice for all involved? 

▶       How do you think the emotional effects of secrecy (feelings of isolation, shame, depression), could impact birth parents later in life?

Women in the video described how when they found out they were pregnant, they felt like things were happening very fast and they did not feel as though they had options—as if it had already been decided for them what would happen next.  In addition, the women and men who made adoption plans were encouraged not to think about the baby, and to “get on with their lives”.

For children who are adopted, the secrecy around the circumstances under which their adoptions occurred often created emotional effects for them as well.

▶       What about the stories of adoptees surprised you?

▶       What benefits do you think there are to lifting the veil of secrecy that can surround adoption?