Overview

In the video, there were many examples of reflective listening and identifying feelings that were used to help support Lillian as she faced an unplanned/unintended pregnancy.  As you review the table below, consider how you might incorporate these techniques into your practice.

 

Examples
Examples where Dana uses reflective listening with Lillian

When Dana asked…

  • “I see.  You had hoped that you and Joe would raise the baby together?”
  • “You feel that if you released your baby for adoption, it would be like throwing him away?”
  • “You feel there are a lot of people in your life who wouldn’t understand?” in response to Lillian’s perception that an adoption plan would not be acceptable in her social support network.
Places in the video where Dana identified feelings for Lillian
  • “You appear kind of sad.  Is that how you’re feeling?”
  • “What were you thinking just then?” as she noticed Lillian’s eyes widen for a moment as though she has an idea.
Places in the video where Dana could have used reflective listening or identified feelings with Lillian but did not

Reflective Listening:

  • In response to “We’ve always been a very close knit family.” Dana could have asked what close means in her family and to identify the ways in which that closeness is demonstrated.
  • When Lillian cannot identify a family member to help her care for her baby, Dana could have said “I understood your family was close.  What makes you think they won’t help you raise your baby?”

Identifying feelings:

  • When Lillian looks away and the corners of her mouth turn down when she said “A boy.  I always wanted a boy.” Dana could have asked if her facial expression, which is a frown, matches her feelings about having a boy.

Last modified: Monday, June 16, 2025, 9:34 AM