Overview

In the video, Lillian and Dana discuss the possibility of Lillian’s aunt and uncle adopting her child.  This form of adoption is often called kinship adoption. There are many forms of kinship care, which refers to those situations in which family members are raising children that were not born to them.  Many relative adoptions begin informally and in later years the adoption is legalized.

Common reasons for grandparent and other relatives raising a child not born to them can include:  the age of the mother, serious social problems of birth parents, and/or a plan that is thought by the family to be in the best interest of the child and the birth parent.  For many children, kinship care offers the stability and continuity that they need to grow into healthy adults.

Kinship care is a phenomenon that cuts across racial and ethnic lines, though some cultures may have more formal and informal traditions around taking in children than do other cultures.

Considerations in Relative Adoption

When a relative provides care to a child at birth, there are issues that the birth parent must cope with that are different from those that are present when the child is placed with a non-related family.  These issues are ongoing and change as the child reaches each new developmental milestone and include:

 ▶       The shared history between the relative providing care and the birth parent, which can positively or negatively affect the attitudes of all parties involved in a kinship arrangement.

▶       Birth parents may also be coping with feelings of loss, separation, anger and resentment over the decision not to raise their child.

▶       Often proximity of the birth parent to the child is increased when a relative provides care, hastening the immediacy with which potential issues, such as who is the parent in charge,  will need to be dealt with. The relatives raising the child may feel threatened as parents by the birth parent(s) involvement.

▶       The birth parent must quickly develop a new role, relationship and authority with their child that supports the relatives’ role, relationship and authority as parent.

▶       It may be painful for the birth parent to have interactions with the relative raising his/her child because it is a constant reminder of his/her decision not to raise the child, and the relative raising the child may see the birth parent as a constant reminder that the child was not born to them.

▶       Birth parents and the relatives raising the child may have feelings of competing for the loyalty and affection of the child.

▶       By their very nature, kinship placements have an element of openness that needs to be dealt with in a constructive manner.

 The level of comfort family members have with the kinship arrangement will set the stage for how the child copes with the placement throughout his/her lifespan.

▶       Birth parents must clarify and define their interactions and activities with both the relative raising the child and the child.

▶       Honesty within the extended family about who the birth parent is and what role he/she will play in the child’s life is vital.